I'M HORRIBLY ALIVE! The Tom-1 Story

WHO WILL GO?

Mon, 27 Dec 2004 05:56:15 GMT

SEND ME.

Well, it's about that time. I'll be leaving the day after tomorrow for Basic Training in the U.S. Army. I'm excited, a bit nervous, somewhat dissapointed with what I've got to give up... but ultimately happy.

Folks tend to ask me "Why?" especially now, with what's going on. I can't help but think "Why not?" ...What makes me so special? What reason do I have not to do my part, especially if I'm willing and capable?

I never told anyone this, but I feel guilty. I guess you wouldn't understand if you weren't here on that day in September, so close to where it happened... but I feel guilty that I couldn't do anything to help them. Why am I alive? Am I doing anything worthwhile with my life? And I doing anything /now/ to help those who might need it? Or will I just let it happen again? Do I deserve to benefit from the sacrifice of those who have given their lives so that the rest of us could go on with our lives in peace?

I'm ready.

Let's roll.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Sat, 25 Dec 2004 18:12:38 GMT

YOU FILTHY DOUCHEBAGS.

Merry Christmas, one and all
from the tall to the small,
to the straight to the gay,
even if Jesus don't swing that way.

To the one who have cash
and a warm place to be,
To the ones who are poor,
and have to drink their own pee.

To the Jew in his mansion,
and the Mulsims in caves,
status doesnt matter today,
Cuz mother fucker, Jesus saves.

So rememeber this rhyme,
from your good friend Tom,
While you were sleeping last night,
Santa did your mom.

MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS, YOU FUCKING IDIOTS.

I LOVE YOU ALL.

I LOVE YOU, NINA.

Tom

KILLZONE

Wed, 22 Dec 2004 18:05:06 GMT

SUXXXORZ

hay d00dz!!1

AT SCHOOL RIGHT NOW.

WHAT A TOTAL ROGUE AM I.

Sun, 19 Dec 2004 21:51:42 GMT

OH MAN. MORE PICTURES.

My sister's noble and proud mutthund, Yoda:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v299/Sentinull/YODA.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v299/Sentinull/YODA2.jpg

He's a handsome, handsome beast. I'm not saying I agree with it, but I would understand if someone wanted to make love to him. He's beautiful specimen of the canine species!

Hey Gerald... Recognize this?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v299/Sentinull/GOLDENDISC.jpg

From an aerospace museum in Virginia...

The most retarded dog and cat in the history of their respective breeds...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v299/Sentinull/KAYLA.jpg

And finally... One day, Tom was a normal guy, full of hopes and dreams and blood...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v299/Sentinull/TOMMLER.jpg

And then, suddenly, he was a zombie!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v299/Sentinull/ZOMBIE.jpg

Sun, 19 Dec 2004 17:37:38 GMT

Well, well, well. What's this here? Some sort of digital camera? Oh my! Why don't we take advantage of it's photogrpahic properties, hmmm?

Allrighty, this is what I looked like just two weeks ago...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v44/Tom-1/HORRIBLE.jpg

And THIS... is what I look like NOW:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v44/Tom-1/NOBLEYUCK.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v44/Tom-1/EWWW.jpg
(I apparently noticed I got a haircut!)

How awful. Simply terrible, I declare. All of you, away, before you're consumed by it! BWAAAA!

Oh look. A cat. In a bag.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v44/Tom-1/chairmanmao.jpg

Tom

What's the plan?

Sat, 18 Dec 2004 16:33:16 GMT

The plan is shut up.

I quit my job of three years.

School is officially over for... well, who knows how long.

Christmas is almost here, but is haunted by my family's overbearing nature, their dissaproval and their contempt.

The only two things that make me a little happy at this point are Nina and the Army. Funny how they both seem to not get along... Ni wants me to stay, Army wants me to go! XD Bah! My life is a constant battlefield. ;___;

le sigh!

'Not sure what I'll do today. I feel like an animal in a zoo. Sure, my enviornment might looks like what I'm used to, but it all feels wrong somehow. Like I don't belong here anymore, and I'm just lingering about, neither here nor there. LIMBO.

I KNOW! SHOPPI~I~ING! ^,^ Shopping makes all things all right again!

Tom

WHO WANTS A MUSTACHE RIDE?

Tue, 14 Dec 2004 13:40:46 GMT

I DO. I DO!

Man, life is swell. It's dandy, even. Why, I would go as far as to make whole new words about how awesome my life is at the moment, like Swandy. YES. My life is thoroughly swandy! =D

First, I've got some really good friends. Friends I would do almost anything for, and certainly more than I would do for anyone in my family. Naturally I don't expect the same from them - all that's important is how awesome I feel to have some awesome friends. It's genuinely awesome.

Second, the Army is getting closer and closer, and I can't wait. Naturally I'm upset that I'll be leaving some very important and special people behind, but it'll only be for four months. Heck, think about the first week of this past September - that was like fucking /yesterday/! That's what it'll be like. It may sound like a lot of time, but I'll be home before you know it. And I'll be a minister of death, praying for war. That's probably only funny if you've seen "Full Metal Jacket" <=/

Finally, and most importantly, I'm happy I have someone to love, and who loves me back. She means the world to me, and if it weren't for the Army, I'd probably be exausting my funds on plane trips to-and-fro. My mystery woman of extreme mystery is so incredibly wonderful, I can't believe I'm lucky enough to have her. That's right. SHE'S MINE, BITCHES. See this ring? It means I OWN her.

...Wait. Ring?

COMMITTMENT!!!1 EEEEK!

Tom

A THOUSAND YEARS AGO, PEOPLE "KNEW" THE WORLD WAS FLAT.

Sat, 11 Dec 2004 17:00:14 GMT

IMAGINE WHAT YOU'LL "KNOW" TOMORROW.

"Have yourself a merry little Christmas" is the best Christmas song ever. It's totally hopeful and depressing AT THE SAME TIME.

If anyone's heard the song "Christmas Shoes", then Christmas is like, totally ruined for you, forever and ever! XD

Looks like you guys are going to be surrounded.

Sat, 11 Dec 2004 03:28:59 GMT

We're paratroopers, Lieutenant, we're supposed to be surrounded.

I killed a racoon with my truck today. I was returning home from the supermarket at night, and not a quarter mile from my house, I see this racoon. He had something shiny and round in his mouth, so I'm currently working off the assumption that he was bringing aluminium cans home to recycle, for his family. So, I'm driving right at him, and he's walking RIGHT AT ME. Not to the left, or the right, or away at all, but in a straight line like he sort of understood the concept of traffic... but had it reversed.

So he dissapears under the hood of my truck, and then I hear this awful "bonk" noise from underneath. When I look in my rearview, he's laid out across the road.

I FEEL BAD. not so much that I killed an animal, but that it was /so/ pathetic. He just walked right into his own death.

AND SOMEONE IS NOT ON TO MAKE ME FEEW LESS HUWT IN MY HEAWT =(

KILLING IS MY BUSINESS, LADIES

Wed, 08 Dec 2004 14:18:42 GMT

AND BUSINESS IS GOOD.

Major Benson Winifred Payne: General, surely there must be /somebody/ left who needs some killing, or some killing done for them.

Gen. Decker: Sorry, Major. There's nobody left. You've killed them all.

heheheh...

SO I PASSED MY FITNESS EXAM. PSSHT. I FELT LIKE I WAS IN A BABY SCHOOL FOR LITTLE GIRLS. ANYONE CAN DO 15 PUSH-UPS. RETARDED PEOPLE, WHO CAN'T GRASP THE CONCEPT OF UP AND DOWN, CAN DO PUSH-UPS.

So I'm /totally/ in the Army now. Someone sex me up.

Tom

And now time for the blackie weather report.

Tue, 07 Dec 2004 18:59:28 GMT

IT'S GONNA RAIN.

So I bought "Ender's Game" today. I've heard alot about the book, so I figured I'd give it a shot.

I'm not much of a sci-fi novel fan... not that I dislike sci-fi, but that I seldom find a novel of that genre that I enjoy. It's usually the same out-dated nonsense of old authors (men) trying to make up their own universes, typically replacing regular words with alien words, like "John picked up the GRIZNOGG and headed for the bridge" when GRIZNOGG means something like control device. Just SAY control device, you fools!

But uh.. yeah. "Ender's Game". 'Hope it's good. IT BETTER BE GOOD. So far, it looks like "Halo" and "the Last Starfighter" ripped off this book, to some small extents.

Little known fact... "Starship Troopers" the book has almost NOTHING to do with the film. Certainly you are STUNNED.

They're two completely different stories and atmospheres, really. The book is a look at how a military government/state might grow and function, and what positive aspects it may have... while the film was a major rag on Heinlein's theme. Listening to the director's commentary on the DVD, the director mentions at one point that the entire film was a 'spoof on the American culture and military' or something to that effect. Poor Bob Heinlein. v_v;; He never hurt nobody never!

'Good thing the cartoon series followed the book more accurately.

Tom

We're locked into the moon's gravitational pull. What do we do?

Tue, 07 Dec 2004 11:57:30 GMT

WE DIE.

You know, I was listening to the radio today and I was curious why I'd even /bother/ joining the Army. There are so many people out there who just hate everything about this country that they really /will/ be the death of us. I'm not talking about foreigners, either - I mean Americans, in this country.

These people show such disdain and ungratefulness towards the peace and luxury in which they live that they never stop to think of where their right to be dicks /comes from/. They sing a mean tune about freedoms and civil liberties, but what do they really know? How would they preserve their rights... through protests? Pssht. See how well a protest goes over in a country like North Korea or Iran. I hope they like waking up dead, because that's what will happen. Or better yet, maybe they could sit around and smoke pot and hallucinate their problems away. That's the ticket.

America is going to be it's own downfall someday. Not the Muslims, not the Russians, not the French... AMERICA. It's a pessimistic point-of-view, but honestly... am I wrong? We made a stink over FRENCH FRIES while recovering from the murder of 3,000 of our citizens. =/

Now, I'm as progressive as the next person. Abortions, gay marriage, stem cell research, legalizing drugs, seperation of church and state, prostitution and all that 'good stuff'. 'Keep 'em comin'. I won't participate in that latter batch, but people should have the RIGHT to in a FREE society.

But on the other hand, I'm frighteningly convservative. I'd like to see welfare and equal opportunity (see affirmative action) abolished. The government should have absolutely no say in how you live your life (<-This is becoming a sort of moot topic nowadays, as both parties like to poke themselves in your affairs in one way or another) Capitalism rocks HARD. REAL HARD. I'd love to see the southern border shut down and guarded like nothing ever seen before. Americans not wanting low-paying jobs is a myth... Illegals who take them for half the /legal/ minimum wage before an American can is the fact of the matter.

Why did I bother saying that? Becuase I /know/ I'm a weirdo, but I'm a weirdo with leanings towards BOTH SIDES. I'm not a very good Republican because I'm an atheist and I disagree with anyone dictating decency or morals. Guess what, rocket scientists? You don't gotta believe in Jesus to know killing another person is wrong. DUR DUR DUR. I'm not a good Democrat because I think they're thieves who think you're their responcibility to take care of and that your money = everyone's money. Modern socialist party, really. Simple terms, you think? Not really. I could go on, but do you care? Not really.

Uh...

I think tattoos on girls are trashy, too! If I see one more of those tail-bone/small-of-the-back tattoos, I'm going to fucking flip out in a bad way and never EVER stop. EVER. I'm not too hot on piercings below the neck, either. Yuck. What is with you people! XD

Yup. 'Sooo full of rage tonight. I'm sorry! v__v;;

Ni, if you still 'hate' me for all that nonsense I spewed above... then you really are the girl for me! XD heh heh...

Tom

I'M BIZARRO STORMY.

Mon, 06 Dec 2004 18:41:18 GMT

I'M REGULAR STORMY. =/

I learned some new and fun slang in the past few days I wanted to share with the kids.

Calling someone a 'rockstar'. I was watching the "Dawn of the Dead" credits, and it's ALL THEY DO. Ving Rhames? ROCK STAR. That other black guy from ER? ROCK STAR. Crybaby blonde girl? ROCK STAR. That zombie is scene 32? ROCK STAR. I'm gonna use this all the time, just like they did.

Similar to being a rock star, there is the chance you may 'rock off' someone's whatever. For example, you may party so hard, you rock your socks off. I FINALLY get what those L33T speakers were talking about. But it has so many more options! Like if you see a hot babe, you can be like "That chick rocked my pants right off me!" and people would be like "=X" and you'd be like "WOOF!"

'Ace'. I had NEVER heard this before about three or four days ago. Something is 'ace' when it's awesome, or great. I think. That's how I plan to use it, anyway. "G.I. Joes are ace, yo!" and "Tattoos aren't ace, don't play, sista funk."

Doing something 'hard'. I think we ALL know the cool factor of doing something HARD... because then you know it gets the fuck done.

There. A WHOLE damn entry without one mention of Nina. How about that, you beautiful hippy?

...Aw /shit/ >=/

Tom

I FEEL LIKE I'M TAKING CRAZY PILLS!

Mon, 06 Dec 2004 10:40:14 GMT

I invented the piano key necktie! I am /somebody!/

I'm afraid I may be too liberal =/ This could be a problem, especially with the Army and all that jazz. I'm going to have to step up my conservative mannerisms, like shouting "GAY!" if I ever see a man talking about things only girls should talk about, or getting REALLY angry whenever I hear people try to complicate an arguement with reason or facts...

BTW Nina - I am very smart. You know why? I know how we can break my existence to your parents. Dig this - I'm a CANADIAN you knew from SCHOOL who MOVED to AMERICA because my PARENTS are RICH millionaires, and I decided to join the ARMY but want to remain FRIENDS.

THIS SHIT CAN'T FAIL. =)

OH! AND I FOUND TWO BUCKS TODAY IN MY TRUCK! PRAISE THE LORD! ALL PROPS TO MY G-DOGG!! ^_~

Tom

I WANT A LITRE OF COLA. >=(

Mon, 06 Dec 2004 01:20:26 GMT

They don't make litres, Farva.

I thought I'd kick this shit off with the revelation that my girlfriend apparently wore a specific, mysterious type of underwear today. And how did she keep this secret? BY TELLING EVERYONE IN HER JOURNAL.

ATTENTION WHORE. Emphasis on the WHORE XD bwahaha...

I slept all day long. It was delightful. But then I remember my teen years when sleep was a method of angsty escapism, so I died a little inside just now. SOB SOB SOB. POEM POEM POEM.

WINGY AND CHI. MAKE WITH THE BABIES RIGHT NOW. THAT IS A DIRECT ORDER!

REMEMBER -

Jesus saves, people. But you're all gonna die anyway, so fuck that nonsense. Pillage to towns and rape the women, cuz we're all occupying the same space in the end.

Wwwwait a minute...

Sun, 05 Dec 2004 12:04:52 GMT

Hold on, hombre.

/Now/ I know why Nina was pissed at the German orgasm girl! =0 IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW.

That's right Ni, another entry about you. Why don't you add it to the list you keep by your bed, you scary stalker lady.

By the way, for people who don't know it yet - NI IS TOTALLY BEAUTIFUL. I MEAN THAT IN EVERY POSSIBLE WAY A GIRL /COULD BE/ BEAUTIFUL - BUT IT'S /ESPECIALLY/ RELIEVING THAT SHE IS NOT AN UGLY LANDMONSTER. HEAR MY WORDS - YOU ARE ALL GOING TO DIE LONELY AND ALONE AND BY YOURSELVES, EVEN IF YOU GET A GIRLFRIEND, BECAUSE NONE OF THEM WILL BE AS PRETTY AS MINE. SUCK IT DRY, BITCHES.

In a related note, I think I feel bad for Nick. I'm not sure! He needs some lovin' too, y'know.

Ford and Vin deserve on-line relations, too. But I feel bad for whatever girl one gets involved with, because the other can just pretend to be ...the... other... and two-time the chick. "Hey honey, let's have sex!" "OK!" (three minutes later) "OK, I gotta go to class honey!" "OK!" (ten seconds pass) "Hey honey, let's have sex!" "Hey... didn't you have class?" "Hey honey, shut your fucking mouth! =D"

Chi and Wingy, best of luck.

And in super secret man-code: I-Chay, Ake-May Ure-Say Ou-Ya On't-Day Et-Gay Arried-May Y-Bay Accident.. Ay.

I love you all. Except, oh I don't know...

Itchy.

Tom

HOLY SHIT. IT'S RELATIONSHIPS!

Sun, 05 Dec 2004 00:14:29 GMT

I believe it all started with Willis and Maggie (Crazie). They showed us the way.

Then, I'm pretty sure, it was Kaddy and Gerald being sappy weirdos. Which was cute, if you're crazy! ;D However, it's cool. They express their love how they like - whatever makes them happy!

Then, it was Ni and I. I like her very, very much and feel totally pumped whenever I talk to her. I'm like the guy who found a million bucks, but my millions bucks is a pretty girl.

But now? Chi and Wingy are doing it. YOU TOTAL FUCKING BITERS >=( Why don't you posers just quit while you're ahead? Oh wait, you love one another or something? My bad. I take it back. Feel free to steal kissums behind the school and carve your name into the big oak tree.

The worst part is, I imagine it went something like:

PIP PIP I LOVE YOU I DO, MATE!

WHAT'S ALL THIS ABOOT, EH!

Tom

Today we live, but tonight we die.

Sat, 04 Dec 2004 13:18:02 GMT

What is time travel, but man's desire to play God, I ask you? Exactly. You're two shocked and awed by that concept to respond, like stupid babies! Kneel before Zod, bitches. =[

I'm deep like that sometimes. =)

You know what else?

Hitler Cola.

It's the Reich one, baby!

And don't even get smart and try to bring up stupid shit like "Fuhrer brand pop" or "Aryan Raspberry Coke", okay? It's JUST Hitler Cola. YOU SINK ZIS IZ ZOME KIND OF BABY LAND VERE VE CAN PICK UND CHOOSE?! Nein!!

Ni, tonight we phone talk. Prepare to recieve my girlish voice.

Tom

D'HUR HUR HUR U IS PURDY.

Fri, 03 Dec 2004 00:47:31 GMT

DEAR NINA.

You are stupid.

You are stupid because you're a teenage girl.

You are stupid because you're a teenage girl who doesn't realize she's pretty.

You are stupid because you're a teenage girl who doesn't realize she's pretty, or you do, and you're just being sly about it.

YOU TOTAL BITCH.

Tom

OMG IT'S MY MISERABLE LIFE

Thu, 02 Dec 2004 22:09:09 GMT

Hey everyone! =D

Even though this is none of your business, I'm going to post all about all the little nonsensical and unimportant events (to anyone other than meee) that goes on in my life, because I desperately crave anonymous attention! But OMG DON'T READ MY JOURNAL THIS IS PRIVATE I HOPE NO ONE EVER FINDS OUT ABOUT IT!! =O

Number one - guess what!!1 I have a girlfriend on the internet now. I don't know why or how she likes me back but the important thing is I own her now! =D She is very pretty and funny but for all I know it could be a clever trick to get me to come to Canerda and kidnap me, like in Silence of the Lambs. I HOPE SHE WON'T MAKE A SUIT OUT OF MY SKIN!! >__>;;

Number two - Ford and Vin are people I would consider real life friends, (CHI TOO, BUT IF I HAVE TO SAY THAT OUT LOUD THEN I BET WE WERE NEVER FRIENDS TO BEGIN WITH) and sometimes I feel bad that I have to go to the Army and not hang out with them. BECAUSE THEY NEED ME. They's my babies. They need momma's milk. OMG THAT'S NASTY. I also like AJ and Gay-Lo, but not in THAT way. I like most of their friends, even. That 'T' girl is a whole lotta woman, though. IT SMELLS LIKE POT IN HERE!!!

Number three - I don't think anyone will ever understand why I'm joining the Army... and that's the way I like it. >=[ I'm a fucking enigma up in this shit. An enigma, wrapped in a riddle, wrapped in a vest. HAW-HAW.

I love you all, I've begun to hate you. A vicious circle,

Tom

LOOK AT THIS HOMOSHIT >=[

Wed, 24 Nov 2004 06:12:43 GMT

Everyone I know has one of these retarded things. EVERYONE. Even my /Grandma/ has one, where she too whines about her parents and other angsty shit. WAH WAH WAH. BEW-HEW.

I guess I just want to be part of the crowd. This "unique individual" bullshit is over-rated! Let me play in your reindeer games, internet ppls. PLZ.

Yup.

Tom